June 1, 2014

DAD


My dad will never read this. He hardly knows how to use an iPhone, let alone know what a blog is. Nor does he know that in the 90 minute car ride down and back from Cedar to St George last night, I was choked up the whole time. 

No, it's not Father's Day yet, but last night I gained so much love and respect for my dad (I didn't know that was possible)... I wish every day was a day for him.

Yes, he preaches a lot. And by a lot, I mean even if you are with him for ten minutes he'll try to teach you a life lesson, or quote his favorite book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People", or tell you that it's quite possible that your back pain, migraine headaches, or acne is a result of stressful goings-on in your mind - not simply your body. And if you've been around my dad for any ten minutes, it's more than likely that you know what I'm talking about. It's also more than likely that you'll have learned something extraordinary (or something that's worth shaking your head over) from Mike Jorgensen.

My dad didn't even finish a semester of college, yet he's the wisest, most successful man I know. He owns a thriving family business, but doesn't show it off. One of the most important things my dad has taught me is to never flaunt my success, whether it be money, cars, traveling, etc.  Growing up, he told me that instead of being the best of friends with the people who have a lot of friends/have a good life, that I should reach out to those in need... Those that need friends the most.  He is friends with everyone, especially those less fortunate.  They love my dad, his kind personality, and his sense of humor.  He has always told me to do my alms in secret, as the Bible teaches us. He is selfless, generous, and willing do to just about anything for anyone... A notion I will never be able to replicate. I am not good at being humble about the best things in my life, especially now with Instagram and Facebook. It seems as though, in general, people only put the good things on social media. Last night, my dad advised me to be better at not shoving only my good life in others' faces. Yes, I am guilty. On the other hand, yes, when I see others' success on social media, I tear myself down because I am not living that life. How unfair to me, for thinking that one person's life is better, more enhanced and successful, because I don't do the same things as they.

 Everyone has unique qualities that will lead them to success. I seriously hate social media for making me compare myself to others, for making me love myself and my relationships less. My whole life, my dad has helped me open my eyes to see how unique and special I am. I don't mean to brag, but he has never led me to believe that I am not good enough. I see so many parents that do that to their children. It's unfair and quite frankly desensitizing. I wish everyone were lucky enough to have a dad like mine: he lifts me up (while still criticizing me, just to make me a better person). When I have an idea for a career I may like, it's often that he and my mom say, "I feel like you're too smart for that." They believe I am destined for great things. My dad believes in me. He gets me. He knows my strengths and weaknesses, and always gives the best advice in what seems to be the most essential times. Last night, he said something to me and it absolutely made me choke up - I could hardly throat out a weak "Thanks" before he continued talking. He said, "Carly, you're beautiful. You are going to be successful and an absolute wonderful mom." 

I say he knows me because 1) He knows what a perfectionist I am, knows my biggest fear is not living up to my potential, and never forgets to tell me how great of a person I am destined to be.  I am constantly afraid that I will just live a mediocre life, but my dad helps me realize I am unique and definitely not mediocre.  2) He knows what an important thing for a woman it is to hear she is beautiful. My dad has never been afraid to tell me how pretty I am, inside and out. He's shaped my self-image more than just about anyone. I've grown up with him telling my mom how beautiful she is, kissing her and loving on her any chance he gets. Because of this, I know every woman is absolutely beautiful in their own way. And every woman needs to hear it. And 3) My dad knows how important it is for me to juggle a career and a family; growing up I imagined getting married in my late twenties, after my career had started. I envisioned a career first, a family second. I was driven to become a brain surgeon in a big city. Well, obviously a lot has changed (I got married at 18), but of course I've always wanted a family. I've just been afraid of how good of a mother I would because I am so invested in success. My parents have taught me that family is the thing that matters most. I still am scared of how I might adjust to a career and mom life, but last night when my dad told me he believed I was going to be a good mother, I believed it.  (Disclaimer:  I AM NOT PREGNANT.  GIVE ME A FEW YEARS.)  Especially coming from the dad of all dads, who had the mom of all moms, and has the wife of all wives, I feel appreciative that he believes I could add up to be something slightly similar to the mother figures in his life. 

Another thing that made tears stream down my face, unbeknownst to my dad, he said, "You remind me so much of your mom. You're feisty, but kind, compassionate, driven, smart, and on top of your life." If there's anyone in the world that I could be more like, it would be my mom. And to think I remind my mom's husband of her...... Wow. I was literally speechless (mostly because I was crying and I didn't want my dad to know).

My heart basically sunk when he told me next: He said that the first few years of his marriage were hard.... really hard.  He made $250 a month and their rent was $375.  My mom was going to school and life was just tough.  Life changed once they had kids, and it kept on changing.  He let me know that no, marriage is not easy.  But he told me that he loves my mom more now than he's ever loved her.  He said that their relationship is better than it ever has been in their 30 years of marriage.  How special is that?!  I'm not surprised, however.  My parents probably have the best friendship and marriage that I've ever seen.  They rarely argue, they make out in front of everyone and anyone, they support each other, love and adore each other, and are seriously the best examples.  No, I wasn't surprised when he told me that, but it touched me.  I think it's essential for a dad to display his affection to his wife, to let his kids know how grateful he is for her.  It made me want to be better to Race: more patient, loving, and supportive.  My dad teaches me a lot of things, but how to love everyone, despite their flaws, is one of the best things I've learned from him. 

There are a lot more lessons he taught me in that 90 minute car ride, I'm sure of it.  But my dad is wise, loving, generous, and caring.  He works hard and plays hard.  It's important to him, and now me and all of my siblings, to travel, enjoy life, and have good circumstances.  It seems as though my dad sees the bigger picture: being a kind, good person is more important than ANYTHING. There are few people who don't genuinely like my dad; actually, he is a lot of people's favorite person - at least that's what random people are always telling me.  I am so lucky.  

Happy early Father's Day, dad, even though you'll never read this.  I am genuinely convinced Heavenly Father sent me the dad of all dads.  I hope everyone can learn a little something from every person they come in contact with - especially my father!

xo, Carly    


2 comments:

  1. Carly, I absolutely love your blog and all your pictures! I loooove taking pictures, so I can totally relate with taking 1,000 pictures and everyone making fun.. Haha they just don't get it. But, I wanted to tell you how much I LOVE this post about your dad! He really is a great man and everyone I know just adores him. Not only is this a tear jerker and truly touches your heart, but you are an amazing writer! The way your words flow is beautiful. Not sure what your major is, but you should definitely do something with those mad writing skills! Keep blogging and posting those hundreds of pictures! ;)

    ReplyDelete